


The Deal

by casismymrdarcy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Related, M/M, POV Castiel (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29211933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casismymrdarcy/pseuds/casismymrdarcy
Summary: Castiel is thinking about The Empty's deal and what his true happiness is
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 26





	The Deal

It’s quiet, except for gentle hum of the generator. The bunker inhabitants had already gone to sleep; except for Castiel.

He was sitting on one of the chairs in the kitchen, a distant look on his face while the words of The Empty echoes back to him.

_“when you finally give yourself permission to be happy and let the sun shine on your face, that's when I'll come. That's when I'll come to drag you to_ **_nothing_ ** _,”_

What is his _true_ happiness? 

Realistically, there were too many things happening right now for him to even feel happy but he had Jack’s back, together with Dean and Sam, they would be whole, a family again. That fact alone should make him content, happy.

However, the Empty didn’t take him right there and then because despite everything, The Empty did know him enough due to their time together before.

_give yourself permission to be happy_

Did he ever hold himself back from expressing his emotions? He was always blunt about it- Sam, Jack, and Dean, they’re his family, he would die protecting them, he told them this so many times he lost count, he knows in returned they also considered him as their family, even Dean said he was like a brother to him-

His stomach dropped.

He always had this feeling every time Dean said _that_ to him. _Why?_ He should feel honored, knowing Dean, it was not easy for him to consider anyone else to be part of his family, not to mention to call one celestial being his brother, but he can’t shake the feelings that something was quite _off._

“Hey, Cas, there you are,” 

The sound of Dean’s voice startled him. Dean was standing at the kitchen door, wearing his worn out band shirt and plaid pajamas pants, grinning.

“Hello Dean, is there anything you want?’

“ I can’t sleep and I was wondering if you like to watch movies with me? Indiana Jones marathon and before you asked nope, only one until three, I will continue to ignore the existence of the forth one thank you very much,” said Dean, his hands animated.

“Of course Dean,” 

It was during the first half of the movie, while he was staring at Dean's face which had been illuminated by the light from the tv screen, so bright and beautiful that Castiel can’t help smiling, when it occurred to him.

He _loves_ him, always does, not like a brother but like _a lover_. He wanted to have Dean, he wanted to tell Dean how much he loves him, how beautiful, how selfless Dean is. He wanted Dean to _loves_ him back. 

Dean grabbed the side of Castiel’s arm as he pointed at the tv. 

“This is the best part!” Dean said enthusiastically. 

He can’t bring himself to say any of these things to him because he knew deep down that he didn’t deserve Dean.

_At least he would be saved from the Empty’s deal,_ he said to himself bitterly. 


End file.
